AROCKALYPSE: BURGLED!!!

This bulletin was posted on FaceSpace just hours ago:

So someb​ody broke​ into the skate​ shop last night​.​ They stole​ a coupl​e shop board​s and some compl​etes.​

Lucki​ly,​ some of their​ doubl​e sided​ dildo​s fell out of their​ car as they tried​ to speed​ off. We are havin​g some fecal​ dna tests​ done tomor​row.​

So if you know of any sketc​hy homos​exual​s who would​ rob from our store​.​ Pleas​e feel free to repea​tedly​ stab them in the dick until​ dead.​



Thank​ you,
Honky​ Tonk Todd  

This post, while somewhat funny, is not a joke. Over $800 worth of boards was stolen from the shop and while there weren't mulitple-double sided dildos left at the location, there was actually ONE DILDO there.  Whatever retard did this is apparently burgling more than just skateshops if you know what I mean.  Yes, turds.  He's burgling turds as well. 

Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo...we always use the indefinite article A dildo, never YOUR dildo. 

So be on the lookout for a double-burgling burglar haggling brand new skateboards. And there is a CASH REWARD if the burglar is brought to justice.  Over and out.

The Reason Geoff Rowley is Awesome

That. Right. There. is the reason. 

Click it, make it bigger and just take it all in.

How does it make you feel?

What about the composition do you like? What about Rowley's mental state?

How about the pairing of black and white photography and an industrial setting?

Please write me an essay on this image and turn it in via the comments.

Upon viewing the above photo for the first time, I was reminded of the giant hole in the side of my skate shoes. I began to wonder what kind of new Vans they have at Arockalypse right now. So...guess what new Vans they have?  None!  That's right, none! So I got right down do it and found out why.......

There you go. I hope they come before the winter does. Goodbye.

Arockalypse Art Show Prediction: I win!

Don't forget about the art show tomorrow night. I predict my board is going to win, and it's not even a contest. So you better make sure and attend, I wouldn't want your life to go down the toilet because you weren't able to catch a glimpse of my mind-blowing project. Or just check back here in a couple days for some imagery. 

Arockalypse Now? No, Saturday dummy!

Don't forget about this thingy going on this Saturday, April 19th.  Some contests are going down at Edmond Park, then there's a skateboard art show at the shop at 7 o'clock. Word on the streets is that my deck is the bitch-slappin' best there is.  Don't even think about missing it.