Conrad Hale Storm

03.17.08

Marine Skateboard Test Speaking of skate or die,

It has been publicly reported that the United States Marine Corps tested the usefulness of commercial off-the-shelf skateboards during urban combat military exercises in the late 1990s. Their special purpose has been described as for maneuvering inside buildings in order to detect trip wires and sniper fire.

it’s funny on so many levels,
why can’t the government send the troops in with something better than a spray painted mongoose ?

03.12.08

hey,here's a link to just about every horrible skateboard patent made.skateboard nose brakes?

01.14.08

This is an attempt to clarify the logical
implications of the phrase "Skate or Die" so often
associated with the skateboarding phenomenon.

Definition-
SKATE: term for the action of riding a skateboard,as
well as the performance of tricks.

OR: a well known logical operator,in this schema it
implies a choice.

Die: referent term for the action of ending a life,
specifically the life of one not skating.

Implication A: Skate or Die provides an abstract
choice when the phrase is posed as a question. Though
it is meaningless to take it out of context.

Implication B: Although meaningless in isolation,
Skate or Die can acquire descriptive meaning. For
example, one can imagine a man precariously balanced
on a halfpipe and describe the situation as Skate or
Die.

Implication C: Skate or Die as a command. In the above
situation, one might yell to the man balanced on the
halfpipe,"Skate or Die!" This would gain more meaning
if the one who yells is responsible for putting the
man where he is.

Implication D: Skate or Die as religion. Skate or Die
could be used as a guiding principle, where in a
skater would refer to "Skate or Die" whenever a
decision has to be made. For example "what should i do
today?" Skate or Die." "Oh, thank goodness now i know
what to do!"

Conclusion: Skate or Die is simultaneously
meaningless,descriptive,authoritative, and imperative,
from this conclusion on must ask the following: Are
"no skateboarding" laws in violation of the freedom of
religion guaranteed by the US constitution?

01.11.08

When asked if i would like to purchase colored grip i
tend give this rant.
"Black is the color of silicon carbide grit in it's
raw material form. Colored grit molecules are tempered
and smoothed through the intense radiated isotope
coloring process of the grit. No one to date has been
able to make colored grip that's comparable to black grip,fool."

01.01.08

...

jefferson skateship
yeah,jefferson starship actually

made a song about skateboarding.
goes as follows...

(i don't know what the fuck

that picture is about, conrad. -DB)

Whoa whoa whoa mama
here I go whoa again
too fast on the downhill
faster than I can run

If miles turned to inches
you know that man would roll
all the way around the world tonight
look at him go
no jumping off the ride
at 30 miles per hour
iron brains and ball bearings
give him the power

Whoa whoa take a look
whoa whoa look at that man
whoa whoa you can see it
that man is free

Whoa whoa whoa mama
here I go whoa again
too fast on the downhill
faster than I can roll

You got to see him to beleive him
can't you hear 'em callin'
you got to hear him, there's no fear
in that man
can't you hear 'em callin'
he's like a mean molten gold
can't you hear 'em callin'
lord, he's got to have his story told
can't you fear you're fallin'
tounge tip slip'n inand out like a lizard
can't you fear you're fallin'
ah, good god, that man'a a damn wizard
can't you hear 'em callin'
black hair snapn' like a bull whip in the air
can't you feel you're fallin'
red roll'n wheels run'n for the downhill
Dare me!
jesus....